nothing but a big mystery.

I can't really say I had the most productive weekend, but I was glad to have done a few things, until there were more. I went to the FIT Open House yet I wasn't at the Teen Vogue University presentation. I'm preparing a portfolio yet I'm not sure of what's to come. I got some swatches yet they're not 2 x 2 inches. I just finished my AP Art History museum report and Psychology paper yet I haven't even started on my Government paper. I found my sister's curtain that I lost more than a year ago yet I still have not finished sewing it. 

Life is seriously nothing but a big mystery. No??

Here I'm at central park during my senior class portrait, I'm wearing a shirt from Gap, thrifted scarf and jeans, Aldo boots, and necklace from some flea market in Soho.

Deactivated

So much to say and I'm letting it out here.

The past few days have been nothing BUT stressful. Arguments and accusations with "friends" about nonsense have pushed me to the edge of breaking down this week. I guess it was also triggered by other elements that just made me so self conscious and think about how people from my school viewed me as. It has never been like this before and I don't want to get too much into detail but lets put it like this- I thought it was okay to just completely let myself be so open that I just felt so comfortable without realizing that some individuals were actually making fun of me behind my back. I have done nothing wrong except be so friendly and associate myself with them in a properly manner.

I've learned so much the past few days even though the situations do not seem to be too significant. But it has taught me to be a bold individual and think clearly of how I would be affected as time progresses. It has also taught me to be cautious when I do favors for others because even though it is nice to always share and give, it might not always turn out the way I want it to be and the worse part is that I get blamed for it and forces me to think about what I have done wrong.

Enough about stupid drama. I have come to a conclusion that maybe deactivating my facebook account would be appropriate at this moment, not necessarily because of what's been mentioned above but because I feel that it is a perfect time for me to figure out my priorities. I want to be able to focus more on my craft and what I am truly passionate about. My first application is due in less than 2 weeks (time given) for Fashion Institute of Technology for Fall Admission. Even though I have done so much preparation for this portfolio, it cannot be used because the rules are so specific- so I'm basically back to step 1. Drawing desired croquis and have a proper design thought process. I don't have a problem with doing everything because it's what I love doing- one problem though. Why is it that it's due in 2 weeks? 

There- I feel better just writing it all out in here because I felt that I had so much to say. Back to the point of this photo- I am wearing an Urban Outfitters Shirt, thrifted leather jacket and Aldo boots.